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Wow. I've been nowhere to be found for almost the entire year. Sorry, I guess I just didn't feel like updating. Or there was nothing to write about. Anyway, I'm back.
For those of you who didn't know, I was in the middle of the ocean from March to October. "Duty calls," is what I call it. I am assigned to a navy vessel and the ship went on a 7-month deployment to the Western Pacific. It's not your typical cruise, it's definitely stressful. But I feel fulfilled now that it's over with. It gave me a sense of accomplishment, which I think is the ultimate reward one can get, especially after being away from home for 205 days. I got a chance to visit several foreign countries, including Palau, Dubai, and Bahrain. Pics are up on my Friendster account, if you have access to it.
Aside from that, there really is nothing new with me. I'm still the good ol' boring Eyin that you know, just a year older (I celebrated my 22nd birthday in Qatar). Oh, my bro and I finally got our own place, which is great. The place is empty, but it's great. Haha.
It's good to be back. I missed you all.
You have no idea how many times the thought of you and me ran in and out of my mind. How stupid I was for not giving in and "having fun." I did not wanna end up wanting more, because I knew I won't get any.
And then you proved me wrong. You showed me how I could have gotten what I would have asked for. Instead, you gave me what I never wanted: a million "could have beens" and "what ifs" and "should haves".
But now you're proving me right again. I was fine living with maybe, but you're giving me certainly. I can't help but put myself in that place where I didn't wanna go, and how that missed opportunity is turning out to be a close call. You're you and you're like that: you need security, and I'll be damned if you're gonna come looking for it in me. I hate to admit it, but I'm thankful that it wasn't me.
I really wish you wouldn't do that. Just this once, please let me be wrong so I can still think that you're worth it.
Dahil bukas makalawa
mapapagod din sila't
mananatiling ikaw
ang nangingibabaw.
Dahil balang araw,
panghahawakan mo din
ang iyong nais marating.
Hanggang kailan mo ito
kayang dalhin?